Jerry's Gender


There's no doubt that Jerry is a fetishist, since he calls himself one. The difference between Jerry and everyone else is that he believes every trans person is a fetishist, even transmen.

I cannot ever imagine what it would be like to never ejaculate at the end of the event. It's entirely too painful to even speculate. (Jerry's journal at about 33 years old)

From his personal biography, it is unclear whether Mr. Leach is a transsexual or transvestite–although the latter is suggested according to the classic definition since he mentions an addiction to masturbation with his cross-dressing. . . . Mr. Leach departs from current accepted knowledge and does not differentiate transvestism from transsexuality.   Source


He might be considered an autogynephile according to the controversial theory of Ray Blanchard.[10]Some argue that autogynephilia is a narcissistic phase through which some gender dysphorics pass. Source


Recall that because Jerry uses male/man and female/woman as synonyms, he does not and is incapable of thinking about a number of ways to think about gender. Again, not only does he disbelieve them, but by forfeiting any words he forfeits his ability to grasp the ideas going with them. What would happen if looked Leach from a genderqueer paradigm instead of a transexual one?

I never once came to a portion of his writing where he rejoiced in the female body. Considering Jerry spends about fifty pages writing of his experience, this can't be an oversight. Obviously not every transexual I've met shares this with me, but I'm close with have all looked forward to gaining female attributes - smoother skin, breasts, or the change in body smell estrogen brings. What Jerry does discuss in great detail is his and others' hatred for the male body. From his own journal:

Today marks the end of an entire week’s abuse of my own genitals. I have securely placed tourniquets of all kinds, ranging from rubber bands to metal hose clamps, to punish them for existing. I loathe possessing male genitals! I am pleased to report that they are entirely blackened from their lack of nourishment of either blood or oxygen. The pain is severe, mounting by the minute. But who cares? I don’t look at this pain as awful ... or something I cannot bear. In fact, the entire week has been filled with exhilaration with the very prospect that they may thoroughly die! (From I Hate Being a Man )

I would translate Jerry's feelings into this language, "I hate manhood and detest masculinity. Jerry's personal journey, being trans was hardly about being female as it was about being not-male. If it were possible and socially acceptable, I'm sure he would have just as soon become sex neutral as become female.


Jerry routinely denies that he is an androphile but just one time hints that he is.

Contrary to what my father thought, I was never attracted sexually to men. In fact, I hated men and anything to do with being counted among them, or manhood. But I loved being around women.

It wasn't until many years afterwards while working under professional care and fully engaging the emotional wounds of my childhood that I made a startling discovery: I desired a man to hold me, care for me, as men do with the woman they love. Beneath the myriads of self-deception and denial, I realized that I was homosexually inclined.

I don't think Jerry is/was gay. If he were, it would come up more than one time and more explicitly than "homosexually inclined." Outside the ex-gay movement, "homosexually inclined" has no meaning. But in ex-gay ideology were a person can move any where on the spectrum of sexual orientation, an "inclined" person has the potential to become gay. In other words, he isn't gay but could become gay  if he chose to.